The Changes In You  Bring You Closer to Me
by MrsShadow
Summary: Shepard is less human than she ever has been, can she deal with it? Why is every one sniffing at her. Javik is taking an uncomfortable interest in her. Love? Lust? In this crazy war, strange things are brewing.
1. Chapter 1

**The Changes In You.**

Bring You Closer to Me 1/?

**Disclaimer**: If you recognize it: Bioware owns it.

**Prompt:**Kind of liked the idea of Protheans going into heat/ruts, and the possibility of Javik making it his mission to impregnate Shepard.

A little back story for prompt: Shepard has gone into her first heat, little did she know that Prothean beacons not only change the chemistry of ones brain but they also somehow subtly change ones biology as well (hormone changes, the ability touch communicate, etc.) so now while she is recognizably human still she now has enough Prothean DNA to go into heat and carry a hybrid Prothean/Human child.

Prompt: Shepard starts to notice that somethings up when she feels a memory on the Normandy (what memory is up to you,) Mordin does his tests and figures out that Shepard inherited some Prothean attributes. Javik doesn't know why this is happening because his people never intended to "pass on their genes" through beacons, or did they... :) Later on it becomes apparent that Shepard inherited more than touch communication, she goes into heat, and Javik as the only Prothean aboard notices and makes it his mission to take advantage of her situation and impregnates Shepard.

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><p>Desiree Shepard started her day squirming in her bed sheets. Her skin was hyper sensitive, too tight, body too warm. Her panties had become a torture device, rubbing against her lips and clit with each step she took toward her shower.<p>

Never had Shepard ever been this aroused for no reason. Sure right around a week before her period she'd get horny for days but nothing like _this_. The warmth of the water helped little to ease the ache of her body or the sensitivity of her skin.

The wash cloth rasping against her nipples as she washed drew a quiet moan from her lips, it's path over her neck reminding her of her dalliance with Garrus and his rough wonderful tongue. The Commander abandoned the cloth when she came to her mons, soaping her hands and dipping one between her legs.

Light touches to her clit coupled with her fingers occasionally dipping into her pussy had the Commander's mind completely occupied. Her mind supplied her lover, lean, tall, all hard planes and unforgiving ridges. A thick three fingered hand replacing her thin fingers, torturing her under the spray of the shower. Laying her cheek against the chilly, unforgiving stainless steel, she moves her legs open wider, pushes her ass out as if pressing closer to her imagined lover.

The faceless, race-ambiguous male supplied by her mind, whispered roughly to her, voice lightly flanged, more gravelly than anything, while he ground his erection against her supple bottom. Squirming and panting Shepard's fingers stroke at her lips, toy with her clit as her fantasy lover does, free hand plucking at first her right then left nipple.

The first thrust of his cock into her drives her against the wall, dragging a low exaggerated moan from her lips. The second has her meeting it, the third, the fourth – the pace is easy for her lover, and drives Desiree mad. She pushes her hips back insistently over and over, whimpers, moans and begs for more – harder, faster, don't make her wait.

The imagery her mind has supplied is so real that the Commander _feels_ him, not her fingers, not fingers at all. Pleasure washes down her spine, her nipples strain and beg to be touched, her pussy is swollen, wet and greedy for the attention given it. Thrust, retreat, moan, repeat, a teasing swipe at her clit, a punishing thrust, agonizingly slow retreat. On and on it continues until white hot fire licks up the lithe, lean woman's body and explodes in a supernova behind her eyes.

Her cry is loud, satisfied and drowned out by the viscous, primal call of her imagined partner. Catching her breath, Shepard turns and leaning her back against the cool metal and turned the shower head so the water cascaded over her. Soon she was moving and washing herself as if the last twenty minutes hadn't occurred.

Smelling of sandalwood, hair up in it's neat, regulation sock bun, Shepard rode down to the Mess Hall. The doors opened and let in the fragrance of Coffee, reconstituted eggs, frying bacon and toast. The Commander found an easy smile pulling at her lips, someone was eating so maybe, just maybe she'd get some decent grub.

"Lola, aren't you usually up and scanning planets for wayward cruisers already?" James Vega had spotted her rounding the corner, his boisterous light latin accent filling the vast room.

"Got a late start today, James. Whatever you made smells great, is there any left?"

"Not what I cooked, ask the Doc, it was her cooking you smell. I go for home favorites like Juevos Rancheros."

"That sounds good, too" She laughed and turned hopeful blue eyes to Doctor Chakwas. The elder woman rolled her eyes in answer and pointed to the kitchen where a plate had been stashed in the microwave. Cortez was busy making some sort of protein smoothie as Shepard brushed past him and her world exploded.

_ It was late summer, a sweet smelling breeze easing the fact he'd been sent out on repair duty. Richard would be home before him, probably waiting for him to get home and make dinner. The man never could master a saucepan and heat without burning the house down. _

_ The sky darkened and Steve looked up, a ship he'd never seen before, huge, strangely rock like entered atmo about ten or fifteen clicks north. _

_ Curiosity laced the thoughts of Steve as he looked, work forgotten._

_ A great cloud the blotted out the sky from view descended on the area where the ship had landed. _

_ Panic. _

_ His communicator went off._

_ "Richard!"_

_ "Steve – it's the Collectors."_

_ "Oh God – get out of there."_

The pain ripped at her and had Shepard sitting straight up on the Bio bed. Confused she looked around, found both Mordin and Dr. Chakwas to her left, looking at her expectantly.

"What the hell happened? My head feels like I headbutted Wrex or Grunt."

"Fainted Shepard." Mordin supplied, moving in with his omnitool before Chakwas could get a breath to speak.

"Curious. Never fainted before. Also reported eye glowing green. Dr. Tsoni provided evidence of this when interacting with Prothean Beacons. Most curious. A puzzle."

"But Cortez isn't a beacon last I checked – he's a crew member."

"Yes, Yes. Big question – why the reaction occurred. Multiple possibilities." Mordin fluttered around her as Chakwas gave her a glass of water and two aspirin.

"Unfortunately, Commander – this is the best I can do, nothing is physically wrong with you. Should take care of the headache, Mordin and I will go over his test results to see what could be affecting you."

"Thanks, Doctor" Shepard replied, gratefully accepting the medication and water, downing it without a second thought. "So Mordin, what fun tests are you going to put me through?"

"Hormone levels, sleep study, brain activity!" He cheerily crowed, holding out a plastic lidded cup to the woman then indicating the needle that would be used to draw blood afterward.

"Lovely." Desiree quipped, easing off the bio-bed and making her way to the bathroom.

On the way there she bumped into the Primarch who'd apparently come down to deck three for a mid morning snack. They'd shared pleasantries but the Commander noted with curiosity how he'd leaned closer and sniffed at her. He'd never done that before – maybe she'd ask Garrus about it later.

Two minutes, a cursing session and hand washing later, Mordin had is specimen and was drawing the Commander's blood.

_'He's damn good with a needle,'_ She mused, '_didn't even feel it go in. More salarians should go into phlebotomy.'_

"Have enough. Will bring sleep monitor equipment to cabin before you retire, Shepard. Must have full sleep cycle. Will make sure EDI keeps people out. Will notify if anything strange pops up hormone wise." Mordin cheerily shuffled the Commander from the Med bay, barely giving her time to say hello to Eve who'd come out of life support to spend her day with the Doctor.

Again the Commander noticed that Eve had seemed to take an extra deep breath in her presence, and the female had given her a look of surprise.

_'What the hell? Do I smell?'_ Desiree wondered idly as she made her way to the CIC. Today she was dealing with a few errands for Council personnel, raiding a Cerberus base and heading back to the Citadel. Nothing major – which was good. Her skin had begun to feel too tight, the air to warm...


	2. Chapter 2

**The Changes In You**

**Bring You Closer To Me 2/?**

**Disclaimer:** I may play with them, but bioware owns everything recognizable.

The day dragged on and by lunch Desiree was ready to crawl out of her skin. Her nipples were taut, pushing against the fabric of her bra, her panties rubbing at her pussy and driving her mad. She'd done everything she could think of to distract herself from her body's insistent cry for intimacy.

As it happened she had her Omni tool playing an old classic that she loved to sing when the crew wasn't around to hear her. Rumor Has It, had been a favorite of hers since she enlisted in the N7 program. Right now it had her distracted enough that she didn't notice Garrus, Adrien, Wrex, and Javik curtail their conversation in favor of watching her.

Shepard sang her way to the fridge, an extra sway in her step, oblivious to the four males watching her as she made herself a quick set of sandwiches. It wasn't until she'd bitten off a chunk of one that she finally felt eyes on her and brought her own blue eyes up curiously. Garrus and Adrien were subtly sniffing the air whilst eyeing her incredulously. Wrex just looked smug, leaning back in his chair and seemingly holding back laughter.

Javik however, looked predatory. He always did to a certain degree, but in this instant, his golden eyes pierced her, undressed her, made her heart speed up and her face turn crimson. She watched wide eyed as he took a deep breath and let out a rumbling growl. Shepard nearly choked on her sandwich as a jolt of electricity that originated at the most sensitive spots on her body rocketed through her. Mumbling something incoherent, the Commander made a hasty retreat to the elevator, golden eyes stalking her as she moved.

Desiree collapsed in the elevator with only her chicken sandwich and throbbing core as company. Looking at the sandwich in her grasp she groaned.

'I'm not even hungry anymore. I feel like I'm on fire. Burning from the inside out.' Sighing when the elevator pinged her arrival at the CIC, Desiree put on her rank again and decided to spend the rest of the day looking for ships that had hidden themselves after the Reaper invasion. Her mind wasn't in the fight today so the Cerberus base could wait a day.

-That Night-

Mordin came as promised at 2200 hours, right as the Commander was finishing the last of her paperwork. He tutted at the disarray of her desk and ushered her to her bed like a wayward child. It made Desiree smile. Mordin was such a good friend to her, even when he was hooking her up to multitudes of equipment. She fell asleep easily enough, the elder Salarian keeping an eye on the equipment from the Med bay.

_The ground feels young beneath her feet, the sky bright and blue in the daylight. She is on a beach, an unknown beach, certainly not Earth, the water is never that cold anymore. Shepard walks and watches the course of the sun in the sky, eyes squinted, shielded by a hand stationed over her eyes. The woman doesn't see the male that was waiting for her._

_ The male lets her collide with him, taking them to the sand. His voice is rich, deep, tinged with an accented dual tone as he laughs. She's never heard him laugh before. Never felt him- she'd bumped against his armor before, collided against him when he was covering her closer than she'd anticipated._

"_Desiree." Her name is a murmur on his lips, carried away by a sweet breeze. "Your name means desire in your tongue...in mine tongue it is **nahia****.**"_

_ "Nahia?" The Commander murmurs, tasting the alien language on her tongue. It is easy, her mind wraps around it in an easy caress. _

_ A three fingered hand, skin leathery, the middle of the back hardening into a plate, strokes at Desiree's cheek in a display of tenderness. Something she wouldn't expect from him. She leans into the caress, whispers in his language. It never strikes her that she shouldn't know it. _

_ "__**Beraz, bero-beroa naiz**__**"**__I'm so warm – the phrase makes his grin feral, sends the flames that had lapped at her subconscious roaring into her blood._

_** "****Zure nahia elikatzeko egingo dut****"**I will feed your desire- the words, the low rumbling tone of it, hits her at her core as she presses near him. _

_ "**Temine" ** he mutters against her lips, claiming her as his before claiming Desiree's lips in a heated, almost bruising kiss. It makes her whimper against his lips, letting him slide his tongue into her mouth and map it out. _

_ Her male tastes of cinnamon, something dark and forbidden – he is intoxicating. Her tongue travels over surprisingly blunt molars and shies away from razor sharp canines and incisors. They battle playfully for dominance in the kiss; her male's long dexterous tongue surprisingly rough, like a cats, her shorter, more slick. _

_ He kisses her until she has to pull away for air, his fingers needing at her caramel skin, drawing breathless moans from her swollen lips. Those nimble fingers get her hair undone before she can stop him and tangle in the mass of curls that falls around her face. _

_ Shepard lets her hands wander over his body, taking in the strong plating of his chest, the softer plating of his joints. He's nothing like a turian – armored all over, yet still able to move. His armor is continuous, changing only where it needed to be flexible for his joints. His throat was leathery, ridged, expanded easily but wouldn't give for something like teeth. In fact, she tested the theory, nuzzling at his neck before sinking her teeth into him, it was primal, a little bit violent and he apparently loved it. The fierce growl and low moan that accompanied it feeding the fire, making her squirm._

_ His hands curl in her hair, pull her away from him attacking her lips in a punishing kiss. All Desiree can do is hold on to him, whimper, accept it. _

_ "Desiree...**nahia**"_

_ **"Javik."**_

Shepard sat straight up in her bed, breathing hard, blue eyes searching the room as if she were waiting to find Javik luring around a corner. She didn't find him in any of the dark corners and flopped back against the bed with a groan. Again the Commander's skin was tight, whispers of pleasure fluttering though her system from just brushing against the sheets. It would be a morning of long showers, quick breakfasts and distracted conversations.

"Fuck."

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><p><strong>End note:<strong> I'm overwhelmed by the feedback from the first chapter. I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this! I hope I keep living up to everyone's expectations with the story as it goes. Thanks for the reviews – keep them coming! 3


	3. Chapter 3

**The Changes in you**

**Bring You Closer to Me. 3/?**

**Disclaimer:  
><strong>Bioware owns it, I just like to play.

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><p>When Desiree makes it to the Med Bay, Eve is leaving, shooting the human woman a sympathetic look. The Commander makes a note to talk to to the female krogan in her next free hour. Taking a breath and straightening her shoulders, she strides into the room.<p>

Surprisingly the two males that had been looking at each other like they were going to rip each other to shreds were...normal. They each nodded to her, eyeing each other a little tensely, but that had been a standard thing ever since Shepard had brought the prothean on to the Normandy. What did surprise her was that Liara was with Mordin, their heads bent over what could only be her test results. A smirk tugged at her lips when she noticed Mordin's omnitool glowing as he sneakily scanned Javik.

Clearing her throat, Desiree announced her presence. "So, assembled Doctors of the Normandy. What the hell is going on?"

"Have theory!" Mordin crowed before being cut off by Liara's glare.

"Liara?" Shepard questioned, taking a step toward her best female friend since Ashley.

"We...well, this is crazy, but we think that the beacons altered you. More than just an aptitude for biotics and the language. You-you aren't human any more, Shepard. You've got the physical form of one but chemically, you're a Prothean for all intents and purposes."

Shepard felt the air rush from the room. Her throat worked to form words but only a strangled noise of protest managed to get out. Mordin rushed forward and slapped her on the back.

"Breath Shepard. Likely to have _worse_ panic attack if breathing labored."

"Prothean? How – they've all be god damn data signals! Why is my chemistry not human any more?" The commander whispered, a million shades of horrified.

"Commander you should be pleased – you are no longer an inferior species." The sound of Javik's voice spewing superiority congratulations made the brunette round on him viciously.

"I am human and I will always be human. We are _not_ inferior to anyone or anything. Am. I. Clear?" Her voice was icy and dared the prothean to move, let alone say anything to the contrary. Growling at her in response, Javik stepped into her personal space.

"You are prothean and you're also in **heat**." The snarl made gooseflesh rise on the human turned prothean's skin and she stepped away from him, her brow furrowing as she looked to Mordin and Liara for confirmation.

"He is, unfortunately, correct, Shepard." Liara sighed, crossing an arm under her bust and using her free one to cradle her head.

"Can you stop it?" Desiree asked, a sinking feeling swelling in the pit of her stomach.

"Nothing to do. Can't stop biology." Mordin was visibly deflated as he spoke, big amber eyes conveying sympathy to his friend.

"There has to be _something_! You're goddamn Mordin Solus! The Collector tech couldn't stand up to you. The genophage is about to kick it thanks to you. Mordin, _please_." Desiree pleaded quietly, her mind running through the last two days and the fact that even just standing in the room with Javik was making her skin prickle. She wouldn't be able to finish the mission like this.

"**Temine." **_Mine_, the word rolled over Shepard and made her turn to Javik. He had an intense look on his face.

"**Koshi."** _No, _she whispered in return, letting her eyes fall from his.

"You're in heat." He rumbled, moving from his spot near a tense and suspiciously quiet Garrus, closer to the Commander. "If you mate, the affects will diminish."

"You mean if you get me pregnant."

"That is one way" The green tinted male conceded, and it was at that Garrus stopped being a wall flower.

"Have you forgotten that Desiree is in a relationship, prothean?" Shepard cringed at the way Garrus spit Javik's race, as if it were a dirty word. She bristled also at his claiming of her, something in her said he hadn't earned the right to call her his.

"I'm not yours, either." The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and Garrus, poor Garrus, looked as if he had been slapped.

"Des...?"

"You- you haven't earned the right to mate with me." The words rolled from her tongue easily and she stood straighter as the sentence dropped from her tongue though her eyes betrayed her confusion.

Liara chose that moment to come between her commander and the men in the room. Laying a comforting hand on Shepard's arm, the asari scientist spoke softly, soothingly.

"The changes Shepard, are part of the DNA communication. We didn't realize that when you come in contact with beacons that emotionally charged, like Ilos and Eden Prime, that bits of the DNA are transferred to you. We aren't sure how yet. This is permanent. You and Javik are the only physiological protheans left in the galaxy. The heat...you're experiencing it now?" The question was just for Shepard to confirm it for her friend, so she gave Liara the information she could.

"I've been hot for a few days, hyper sensitive to smells, easily turned on;" here Desiree turned her eyes to the ground, her cheeks burning for talking about this as if she were a science experiment. "There have been dreams, waking and the normal kind, so vivid that I can feel whats going on in them as if they're real."

"Anything else out of the ordinary?" Liara pressed, shielding Shepard from view when both Javik and Garrus moved.

"Javik..." Shepard murmured "He drives me to distraction. The sound of his voice, his smell...I-I'm more aggressive in certain situations but completely myself in others..."

The Commander's eyes sought out Mordin, "We have to do something for Garrus. My...scent affects him badly. I don't need, or want him being hurt because my scent addles his brain."

"Desiree," Garrus barked, stepping toward her, mandibles locked close to his mouth in irritation "Don't toss me aside because of this change. We're still Vakarian and Shepard, sure I get a little crazy with that new perfume of yours -"

"We'll always be Shepard and Vakarian, hell there's no me without you. Thing is to keep that going, I need your head clear, your mind sharp. What I saw today was two males go pre-spaceflight, pre-gun powder combat. You tore a troopers _head_ off, Garrus. If a phantom had been present either one of you could have been killed because you were both so god damn caught up in dismembering people." Shepard's voice had become progressively louder and harsh as spoke, until she was in full offer to subordinate dress down volume and tone. Swiveling a half step she pinned the other male with a glare.

"You at least had some semblance of mind, yet you chose to engage in primitive violence against people. Cerberus or not, no one deserves to die being ripped apart the way you and Garrus did today."

"**Borroka gozatuko duzu, hala nola indarkeria.****.**"Shepard's cheeks turn red at his easy statement, that he's right, she does enjoy the fight now, the violence. It's satisfying some deep need to see one of the males comes out the victor.

"**Koshi!**" _No_, she spits it at him, anger drowning out the roar of arousal fully for the first time since she woke up the morning before.

"**Ez da naiz.****" **_He isn't yours, I'm for you. _Javik speaks in low tones, eyes holding hers, making the world fade out around them.

"**Koshi!" **Shepard raises her voice, stands tall and tries to assert her statement as truth over Javik's **" ****Naiz zurea. Mina dut, ez haren, ez zurea. Mina, Javik.****." ** _No, I'm not yours, I am mine. I'm not his. I am mine, Javik._

Desiree feels unsettled by anyone claiming her without showing her, they're worthy. It makes her angry, stamps out the fire in her belly. Her ire seems to only to amuse Javik, the man's lips curve into a smirk and he moves to leave.

"Biology will win out – Shepard. We're prothean, we don't mate...below ourselves."

"We'll see about that, you arrogant ass." She spits, watching him go. The tension of the room drains a little after Javik's departure and she gives her lover a shaky smile.

Garrus takes it in stride, burying his worry, the stress to deal with later. Gingerly reaching out and grasping the Commander's hand he looks at the doctors. "So, why am _I_ going pre-spaceflight turian on everything that even smells like a threat?"

_'I'm human. Still human.'_ Shepard's mind, sings the words quietly, half heartedly as she listens to Mordin and Liara dive into their theories. She was tired – it had been a long, tense, day. Her eyes slid shut before she knew it, body pillowed against Garrus' hard suit and held up by his capable hands.

Well...Garrus apparently isn't going to just lay down and die about this and neither is Shepard! This wasn't where I intended the scene to go...but the characters want what they want I suppose...


	4. Chapter 4

**The Changes in You**

**Bring you Closer to Me. 4/?**

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><p><em>Shepard arched and thrashed under her lover, his larger hands encompassing her wrists, holding her down. She could flip him off her if she really tried, but the fight had gone out of her as soon as he had gained the upper hand moments before. Now she just wanted him, no more fighting, no more proving he was worthy – she wanted him in her, on her, around and near her.<em>

_They snarled and growled at each other. Kisses bruised, teeth cut at the delicate skin, tongues lapped the pain away. A lone hand explored her body, felt the weight of her modest breasts, pinched at the nipples, brushed down her sides. His hips were already aligned with hers, his position on that kept her still, open, maddeningly close but far enough so any touch was teasing. _

_It left Desiree at his mercy, something that the vanguard wasn't used to. She ached, wanted, cursed him for making her wait, for besting her in a show of strength. The light touches of his surprisingly soft but roughly skinned hands did nothing to assuage the fire._

"_**Ez aurre egiten, Javik****."** The words are thick on her tongue, the language usually harsh to her ears now sensual as she rolls her hips in askance._

"_Patience." A single word rumbling against her lips before they are taken again by his._

"Shepard? Desiree – we're approaching the landing zone specified by Primarch Victus." EDI's voice broke through the haze of sleep and Shepard cursed this heat, the changes that beacon had wrought on her over these last few years. So caught in her thoughts, the Commander missed the fact Garrus was sharing her bed until she went to roll out of the side she usually slept on. Instead of the cabin floor, her foot connected with his stomach.

"Spirits, Shepard!" Garrus yelped, his eyes blinking blearily, half alert as the jab woke him. "If you wanted me up, you could have just shook me, ya know."

Desiree felt her cheeks heat up and she scooted away. "Oh damn, I'm sorry Garrus. You must have carried me up here last night and I didn't even feel you next to me when I woke up - "

"Des, it's fine. Yesterday was tough, you fell asleep as soon as the conversation didn't directly engage you."

Shepard sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as her other hand tugged the hair tie from her bun. A mess of curls fell around her shoulders and her hands moved to massage her scalp. "I know. This is all so crazy. Me, a prothean? In heat? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone."

"There are worse things that could have happened, that have happened to you in the last few years, Des." Pain laced the turian's voice and she knew he was talking about her death.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. This is all just driving me insane. The politics, the frantic scramble to find an army when the god damn universe had known this was coming for years and didn't want to admit it. Add finding a prothean in stasis with a superiority complex and then apparently becoming his only viable option to rebuild a whole damn species and it's too much. I don't know him and yet my body wants him. I'm still drawn to you, ya know, but it's like a whisper and I keep grasping it like a lifeline."

"Des. Hush." Garrus curled his arm around her shoulders and brought the light caramel colored woman to his chest, his face burying itself in her mass of curls. "I'm not going to lay down and watch you go to Javik just because your body is telling you to make a baby, but I'm not going to force you to stay with me either. We'll always be Shepard and Vakarian because we were friends first."

Shepard gave a hitched, slightly wet laugh against his plates. "You've got to be the most easy going male in the whole universe."

"I took my frustration and anger out on Vega."

"Is the poor kid still alive?"

"He can take a hell of a beating – gives a pretty good one, too."

And just like that Desiree was emotionally better. Garrus had always provided that for her – emotional stability when the rest of the world wouldn't give her any. He was her best friend, second in command and lover – for however long they'd be allowed such a luxury. Her heat wasn't getting any easier to deal with, she could already feel the hunger growing and it annoyed her to no end.

She knew how heat worked with animals – it signaled being ready to become pregnant, drew in males, sometimes those males fought for the right to mount the female and then a baby would be made by the victor. Mordin hadn't had to say that the base instincts flaring in the commander lent to the theory that if she relented, slept with someone, she'd get pregnant should the biology allow for it. The Commander had pieced that together herself and wasn't having any of it. They were at war, for ancestor's sake! It would be madness to allow such a thing.

Garrus nuzzled her hair, combing his blunted talons through it, twitching his mandibles into a wide smile when Desiree hummed her approval. They cuddled close, enjoying the other's presence until EDI chimed.

"Yeah, EDI?"

"We're at the co-ordinates the Primarch specified, Commander."

"Be right down – tell Cortez to ready the shuttle. Tell Liara and Vega to suit up." She replied, not looking at the glare she could feel Garrus directing at her.

"Remember the easing going thing you said?"

"Gar-"

"Shepard, I'm going with you." The words were barely audible as he growled them out.

"No. Until this heat subsides, you and any other male that can smell my "jump me now" pheromones are staying on the boat."

"You're being unreasonable."

"You're being chauvinistic." Shepard shot back, zipping up her under armor suit and heading for the door.

"Desiree."

"Love you, Gar. Try not to rip the Thanix cannon off from the hinges and _do not _ go down to engineering."

Desiree was shooting down a Harvester before it hit her that she'd told the rebel she loved him. The rest of the mission it was all that filled her mind over the rapport of her gun, the cheer of living soldiers. She kept the Lieutenant from losing his honor in front of the men, agreeing to meet him at the bomb site before returning to the ship.

"Hey, Lola."

"James."

"You've been pretty quiet lately. No visits, no banter. Guy starts to wonder when his girl doesn't come around anymore."

Shepard laughed, tilting her head against her hands to look at Vega as the shuttle returned to the Normandy. "Sorry – lot of shit going on, James."

"So you're prothean now. Big whoop. You're still Shepard, still my C.O., and you still distract me like no bodies business in armor or a uniform."

"Keep flirting, Lieutenant and I might start thinking you're actually interested."

"I'll stop flirting when the Reapers leave and you retire." The boisterous soldier laughed, and slapped the Commander's shoulder in good spirits, lifting the older woman's in the process. The kid was right though – she was still Shepard, prothean bits or no.

–

**End Note: **Yay Vega! I knew you'd pipe up at some point. Also thanks everyone for your comments. Every time I see one in my inbox I get all happy. I also swear to you Javik gets the girl! I promise. I 3 you guys! :)


	5. Chapter 5

The Changes in You

Bring You Closer to Me. 5/?

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><p>Shepard got through two missions and four days before she just couldn't function any more. She was hot, wanting and unable to make the bone aching <em>need, <em>leave her. Shower time antics with her imagined Javik didn't work. The dreams were so vivid now that she could taste cinnamon on her lips as she woke, panties soaked, breath coming in gasps.

So she stayed locked in her loft for half the day before EDI tried to disengage the door for a visitor. Shepard had all but fried the door with her omnitool to keep it locked.

"Shepard, Garrus is demanding entry to your rooms."

"EDI, no. He...I can't see him."

"He says he can smell you through the metal and he'll help you."

"No..No." Desiree babbled, leaning her head against the door when her omni-itool went off. Blue eyes glanced at it as her fingers tapped accept, Garrus's own blue eyes bore into her from the com-screen.

"Shepard, let me in."

"Noo." She moaned, a fist curling against the door.

"You're starting to hurt aren't you? You need to get this dealt with. Let me help."

"Won't use you."

"You aren't using me. I'm offering. I _want_ to."

"No." She whispered her resolve wavering just enough to show in her voice. It was all Garrus needed.

"I'm going to hack your door, Desiree, and when I get through I'm going to lock it again. Neither of us is leaving until you're screamed yourself hoarse and I've had my fill of you." His tone was dark, inviting, rolled over her in waves and made her pussy clench and Shepard just nodded, her reasons for saying no seeming trite now.

He had the door open in seconds and Shepard, who had been leaning on the door, fell against him, dimly aware he was in civilian clothing. Her hands tore at his clothing the second the door was closed and his mouth found her neck, mandibles tickling her a bit as he nibbled and licked at her skin.

They were a violent, terrible tornado across her quarters – her hoodie flung a top her space hampster's vacant cage, the arm of his jacket half ripped off when it was thrown to parts unknown. Her regulation black shirt got ripped down the middle by over eager talons, and her bra didn't make it either.

Garrus had in their past encounters been exceedingly careful with his human lover, never being too rough with her. Apparently a perk of this crazy heat was a loss of that "keep her safe or she may break in half" thing. Shepard decided to enjoy it. The sniper had his hand down her pants and in her underwear before everything went pear shaped. His mouth felt good, the scratch of his plates against her skin was exquisite but something was wrong. This...it wasn't right.

Desiree solved this by shoving him away from her. The small functioning rational part of her brain thanked every god in existence Garrus had blunted his talons recently as she winced when his teeth left scrapes along her neck. But the pain gave way to adrenaline. She wanted to fight, needed it.

She swung at him, baring her teeth. Turians had apparently inherited more than the ability to smell and react to pheromones from protheans, because he took to the challenge like a fish to water. Violence reigned supreme in the Commander's quarters. He made her nose bleed, she cracked her fish tank with his carapace. They rolled around the brunette's quarters until she was fed up with fighting, her lover was giving as good as he got but not exceeding.

She let him win. Let him roll her onto her stomach, hike her hips into the air and rip at her pants. The thrust that drove Garrus' cock home within her was satisfying, the stretch enough, the snarls and nips made her sing. They way he palmed her breasts, carefully tweaked them as he thrusts into her was nice. But that was all it was – a means to an end. Nice. Not earth shattering.

When they lay in a heap at the foot of the Commander's bed, his talons idly brushing through her curls, Desiree felt her body heat up again. It was gradual, just a lick where it had raged not an hour before. She'd be able to function for a few days. Maybe she'd spar with Garrus in the future, try to get him to really let loose.

Maybe...it would be enough next time.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Changes in You**

**Bring You Closer to Me 6/?**

* * *

><p>Five spars, six crazed sex sessions and one particularly brutal fire fight (with the loss of the Primarch's son) later, found Shepard pacing nearly constantly. Garrus had barely been able to keep up with her in the last week. She'd driven him to exhaustion and it didn't hep the flames die. Feelings of dissatisfaction and resentment welled up within her as she thought of her situation with Garrus. She wasn't happy with their bedroom antics.<p>

While Desiree had never been a deviant, she had quickly identified her lover wasn't rough enough with her, didn't exert the dominance she needed. In true Shepard fashion, she just told the turian about it. He'd balked at first, reminding her bone and skin weaves, no matter how extensive weren't going to prevent particularly nasty bites from breaking the skin. Her rebuttal of maybe she'd like that, had softened the male toward the idea, yet even when he tossed her around more, she felt like everything was off. As the week came to a close she was left feeling annoyed, and couldn't actually have an orgasm.

'I need to get the heat to wane, but Liara said short of mating with one of my own or getting pregnant this will last a month...Dear God, a month. Four times a year. The Prothean god's had a sick sense of humor.' The brunette Commander's thoughts ran on as she made her rounds, riding the elevator to the shuttle bay first.

"Commander." Cortez greeted her with a half smile and still wounded eyes. She felt so bad for the Lieutenant, losing his husband to the Collectors in such a fashion. The sympathy had led her to mothering the man, going out of her way to make sure he ate, talked to someone besides James or herself and got out of the shuttle bay.

Today he seemed more somber than usual, and Desiree called him on it. "Steve, you seemed pretty upbeat the last couple of days, but now you're not even here. Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, Commander. I'm fine...Its just...It's my wedding anniversary today."

"I'm sorry."

"No don't be. I'm just not sure what to do anymore. It's been about a year since Richard..."

"He wouldn't want you to be so lost, Steve. He'd want you to live your life – win the war, teach some kids to fly after this is all done." Her words were quiet, unobtrusive.

"How can you be sure?"

"He loved you, and if he deserved you even half as much as I think he did – then he was a man of honor and compassion, incredible love. Kind of like this other guy I know." Her smile was easy, friendly and it brightened ten fold when her shuttle pilot smiled back.

Vega had watched the whole exchange, had been watching his C.O for days and couldn't pin down what had her so on edge. Every step she took was full of energy, Shepard had always been dangerous in his book, but ever since this prothean shit when down – she was deadly. Garrus was tired all the time, had even reported to Chakwas for a fractured plate. The young marine didn't want or need to know what had transpired to cause _that_.

"James."

"Hey Commander."

"How's everything down here."

"Same old, same old. Shitty about the Primarch's kid – he really redeemed himself in the end though."

The bun bobbed as Desiree nodded, humming her agreement. He always kept their exchanges short, sure they still flirted like nobody's business but he didn't want to overstep his boundaries. Plus he had some shit he needed to talk to her about seriously. It wouldn't do for him to get coddled just because he got too close to the Commander.

He chatted a bit more with Desiree before she left silent as a thief in the night. It was remarkable the vanguard hadn't got scouted for an infiltrator the way she snuck around sometimes...

Shepard lingered in Aller's quarters, chatting with the telenet host about everything an nothing while the drone rested by the other brunette's bed. In reality Desiree was avoiding walking out the doors and having to cross the engineering deck to visit Javik. She hadn't seen the man in days, nor was she particularly eager to. He affected her too easily.

"I hate to cut this short, Commander, but I've got to edit this segment together and submit it to my superiors. The loss of the Primarch's son for the safety of the krogan will be sure to turn some heads."

Sighing, Des bid the reporter good night and left Zaeed's old room. She barely ever gave the Merc any thought but, he _did _ have some good war stories.

'I miss my tank born...' The thought came unbidden as she neared the port cargohold, Javik's quarters, for the first time since the whole "you're in heat" debacle played out. She knew it wasn't polite or fair to cut the male out of her life because she was frustrated his people had unwittingly made beacons that changed the physiology of other races to something more compatible with their own. Even so, Javik made her body react and _that_ was plenty enough reason to keep him at arms length or further.

"Commander."

"Javik." She replied cordially, shaking her head to dismiss thoughts of her tank born and the issues surrounding her working relationship with the former Commander.

"**Zure beroa ez du ondo tratatzeko duzun?" **_Does your heat treat you well? _A formal question greeted the brunette, Javik half across the room from switch to prothean made Shepard twitch, the dark tones rolling over her.

"**Hitz egiten zenidan zure hizkuntza askotan gaur egun ...Bai ondo nago, Javik.**_**"**_ _You speak to me often in your tongue now – _Shepard murmurs, settling on one of the crates Javik hasn't removed from the room yet. _I am fine._

Her words seem to amuse Javik, because he shakes his head and his lips twitch just the slightest bit. For a moment neither speaks and then the prothean breaks the silence, moving towards her as he speaks.

"**Zure maitalea ezin gorde duzu entzuten ditut duzu zion."**_ I hear your lover can't keep up with you. You've broken him. _Shepard cringes and pointedly ignores the smug look on the prothean's face. He is lingering just outside her personal bubble now, maybe a foot away.

"**Koshi. ****Garrus ez dago astean, oso nekagarria da."**_ No. Garrus isn't broken. This has been a tiring week._ The response is cool on Desiree's lips. The denial of her abuse of Garrus ringing hollow in her ears.

"**Desiree, ez niri zuen suteak betetzeko."** _Don't lie to me, Desiree. He doesn't satisfy the fire._ Now Javik is in her personal bubble, she can smell him. Musky, male, energy, spent thermo clips – it's enticing.

"Javik, leave it be," Shepard warns, standing and moving to the side. The hunted feeling is returning, and she can't quite decide if she enjoys it or not.

"**Zergatik behar dut, apur nahia?"** He stalks after her, the words – _Why should I_, chasing after her. The challenge makes her bear her teeth at the male, bristling almost visibly.

"Don't start something you can't finish." The Commander is moving on instinct, putting distance between their bodies, but not moving for the door. Her back is to the water troughs, every line of her body tense.

"**Zer me mantendu da akabera?"** The taunt and promise practically drip from Javik's lips. Her muscles tighten and she's coiled to spring – when EDI's voice breaks her from her focus.

"Commander. The Primarch and Clan leader Urdnot are having a...disagreement. Joker would like for you to get to war room before we have to..."

"Before we need a new one." The pilot pipes up.

"I'll be right up." Desiree spares a glance at Javik before moving past him swiftly. Or she would have if he hadn't caught her by the waist against his body.

"Come back soon, little fire. You'll only turn the bird to ash." Just as quickly as he caught her Javik lets the commander free. Her body burns where he touched her, even though she's fully clothed. Desiree flees from his words.

* * *

><p><strong>Note<strong>: I changed the language I am using for prothean. Mostly because the one I had been using has a very difficult dictionary to navigate online. I'll still be using Koshi though. I think that's the best word for No ever.

Again to my reviewers – I'm just awed at how much everyone has enjoyed this thus far. I'll do my best to keep it up! You're the best. 3


	7. Chapter 7

**The Changes in You – Bring You Closer to me 7/? (An Interlude For Pain)**

**Disclaimer:** In case you don't know I don't own anything thats recognizable. Bioware has the toys and I just get to play with them.

**Note:** birdymain: It's a pet peeve of mine as well -however- I do it on purpose. Especially in the last chapter. There's a reason to the madness, I promise. I'm fully cognizant of the fact people like to actually know what is said.

-.-.-

Shepard hasn't slept in what feels like a week. Tuchanka – that fucking hell hole. She won't ever step foot on it again.

Tears. Despair. _Pain._ They drown the heat of her skin in ice, her heart feels like it's breaking and she can't get off the damn shuttle fast enough. A hot hard knot rises in her throat and she is all but throwing her armor off, desperate to get away from prying eyes.

_"Mordin is the cure ready?" She had told Garrus and Liara to go to the trucks, she'd get Mordin. This plight for the krogan would be over soon._

"_Yes loaded for dispersal in two minutes.." There are explosions, not big enough to really be worrying to Des as she watches Mordin work. "Procedure traumatic for Eve but, not lethal. Maelon's research invaluable."_

_Her salarian friend is speaking quicker than usual but in fuller sentences. Its strange and ignites an uneasy feeling in the Commander's bones._

" _She's ok?"_

"_Headed to safety now. Her survival fortunate - will stabilize new government should Wrex get any ideas." He's back to his old rhythms now. The feeling eases just slightly and she steps forward._

"_Good match – promising future for krogan."_

"_Damn." An explosion rocks the Shroud facility nearer to them than Desiree is comfortable with and the feeling in her bones blooms, her heart squeezing when she turns back to Mordin._

"_Control room at top of shroud tower, must take elevator up." He is the picture of professionalism. The Commander's heart squeezes again._

"_You're going up there?" Her voice is strangled, scared._

"_Yes. Manual access required. Have to counteract STG sabotage. Ensure cure disperse properly." So calm, how can he be so calm? He's going to -die-._

"_Mordin this whole thing is comin' apart. There's got to be another way!" Desperation laces her voice as she points to the top of the tower, the other hand ripping her helmet off so she can look at her friend unobstructed._

"_Remote bypass impossible, STG counter measures in place. No time to adjust cure for temperature variance." Mordin turns and looks at the elevator. She doesn't see the sadness in his eyes._

"_No, no other option. Not coming back, suggest you get clear. Explosions likely to be...problematic." He glances at her over his shoulder, voice heavy and determined._

"_Mordin,no,don't go! It doesn't need to be you!" It's like her father dieing all over again, but this time instead of an email, Des is here to witness it. She trots a few steps after him, lands her hand on his shoulder, but the elder salarian simply shrugs her off and climbs into the elevator._

"_Shepard - Desiree, please, need to do this. My project, my work, my cure. My responsibility. Would have liked to run tests on the seashells." Tear sting at her eyes and she rushes to hug him. Clings to him for a few moments before letting go and stepping out._

"_I'm sorry..." Her voice is wet with tears, her mind running a mile a minute to try and find a different way. They could get Cortez here by the time Mordin got to the top. They could blow a hole in the side of the facility peak...He could live. She wouldn't lose him._

"_I'm not. Had to be me." She knows what's coming next and finishes his sentence as the elevator glass drops._

"_Someone else might have gotten it wrong..." Then he's gone, up, up, and out of her life. Shepard runs to where the trucks should be. Sees the explosion, watches the dispersal and feels a part of her heart die. Mordin was eccentric, perfect in his oddity – a central part in her little family on the Normandy for what feels like a lifetime.  
><em>

In the shuttle, no one had spoken, and now as her armor is strewn, weapons set aside in a haphazard manner and her tears stream silently down her face as she punches the elevator console – no one speaks. The doors close and no one sees her collapse, no one hears the heart wrenching sob that is torn from her.

Shepard slaps on her Commander face long enough to be debriefed by Admiral Hackett. He knows, he sees the pain that lingers just behind Commander Shepard, at the surface of Desiree. He says nothing, and she didn't expect him to. Later she crawls into her bed and stays there, damning the Reapers, damning Wrex and his demands, damning Mordin for needing to see this through. She sleeps...and dreams.

**_"_Zer me mantendu da akabera?" ** _Why would I not finish it?_

_The words chase her down the hallway. She's running from the pain to the fire and he is there with open arms. Plating, sinew, three fingered hands that stroke her back as she cries. He comforts her in her pain while gently stoking the fire that's been eating at her blood, worming its way back into her brain. _

"_Desiree..."_

"_Shhh." She doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to face any pain yet, because if she does it will never __end. Her lips seal over his and she lets the fire ignite between them. In this world he is gentle, comforting, understanding. A figment – not at all like the real male who pursues her._

_But he chases away the pain. _

_The taunt lingers._

"_Why wouldn't I finish it, little desire?"_

* * *

><p>I've been avoiding Mordin's death an Tuchanka for days. But, it had to occur or I'd be stagnating the storyline ... I hate when Mordin dies. I cried when it happened, I wailed when I told my husband about it... and I cried writing this scene. D:<p>

The next chapter will be more up beat and maybe, just maybe, Javik will corner little Miss Desiree and get her to break.


	8. Chapter 8

**The Changes in You – Bring You Closer to Me 8/?**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them (or the ending may have made sense :p).

**Note:** Now that the sad is over (for the moment) we can get back to UST so think you could spread it on toast. :3

**Review Replies:** (some I reply to in private other's I'll stick up here)

**xCANxUxHEARxMExDEARx:** I couldn't look at the game for a while. Drank a few cups of tea, cried my eyes out and then told myself Shepard had a job to do. Then wouldn't ya know it I fucked up the Rannoch war and Tali died. I fucking _died_ on the inside. I went back and fixed it after cursing Bioware to hell and back.

**Allie:** I've been blocked on "Ah, to be Young Again" and in trying to finish that one let this one fall to the way side for a bit. But, since the other is being difficult I am forging on ahead with this instead. I am glad you like this so much! :3

-.-.-.-

Seven hours later, Shepard was on the Citadel, delivering artifacts, eaves dropping about still more that needed to be found and just generally avoiding thinking. The task was mindless – listen, store, find, retrieve, deliver. Until, the Spectre's omnitool flashed.

"Hello?"

"**Sute txiki, zatoz nirekin zuk Llorer."** The rumble of Javik's voice snapped her from staring into space. _Little fire, come spend time with me. I know you mourn._

"Javik," She sighed, hand coming to rub at her eyes, **"Hildakoen Llorer denborarik ez daukat. Lanpetuta."** _ I don't have time to mourn. I am busy._

"**Ez, gezurra, oso ona etzan behar bazara."** Heat rushed into the Commander's cheeks – _Don't lie, you're too good to lie – _for every person who had said she was a good soldier, no one had ever said that. The concept was interesting to her.

"**Javik, lanpetuta dut atzera Normandy gainean ordu batzuk.****"** _Javik, I am busy. I'll see you on the Normandy in a few hours._

"**Koshi, Shepard. ****Ziudadela, niri enbaxadetan amaitu duzunean.****"**_ No, Shepard. I'm on the citadel at the embarssies when you're finished._

"As you like it." She sighed and disconnected the call. Four more artifacts to deliver. The Batarian pastor was over the moon with joy when she gave him his people's pillar's of strength, then the data disks to the Crucible worker, a thingamagig here and the last one up to the Asari on the fifth floor. She was resting a moment in the docks, dillagently not thinking about the short list of people who she knew that had died in recent times.

"Shepard." The light australian accent made the brunette's ears twitch. Looking up she found herself face to face with Miranda Lawson, someone she hadn't expected to be in contact with again.

"You...didn't get my email did you?" The former Operative asked, crossing her arms and letting her hip jutt to the side as she spoke.

"I haven't checked it in a few days...Not since..."

"I heard about Solus and, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. But I didn't come here for that. I just wanted to check on you while I was looking up some contacts."

"Contacts? Is something up?" Shepard leaned forward, hands on her knees, chin resting on her clasped hands.

"Oriana hasn't been checking in, none of the safe gaurds I put in place are functioning either..." Worry laced the older woman's voice, eye's wide and sincere.

"Your father?"

"I think so."

"Have you talked to the Illusive Man about this?" The name was acid on Shepard's tongue, but she knew how close Miranda had been to her former benafactor.

"I haven't come into contact with him since I resigned. He doesn't take rejection well."

"No, he doesn't." Shepard and Miranda were silent for a beat before Shepard stood and walked toward her. "Miri if you need help-"

"No. no. I just...I'm worried. I need to get this sorted."

Desiree nodded, watching her friend pace nervously in front of her. "If you need help, you know who to call. Keep me updated."

"Of course, Commmander. I should get to my other meetings."

"Miri."

"Yes Commander?"

"Stay safe." The words were almost whispered and Shepard lurched forward to give the older brunette a hug. It was returned after a moment of awkward silence.

"I can't promise that Shepard...Could you?"

"I don't suppose I could."

Desiree wandered up to the embassies after that, mind shifting through the faces of her Cerberus crew. They weren't all bad, Kelly, Miranda, Jacob, Donnelly, Gabby, Gardner – they were all just people trying to do what was right when no one in the "right" channels would let them. It frustrated her, the moment they had limped to the homeworlds of her various crew and landed back on earth the alliance had taken most of the crew in for questioning. She _still_ didn't know what had happened to her favorite engineers barring Adams and Tali. Kelly had been cut loose in a few days. Gardner allowed to return to his old place...

The last three years would be the stuff of legends, yet all Shepard felt was tired. She'd been tossed into this head first, built crew after crew, solved dilemma after dilemma. Her family had been continually fractured along the way as well. It was tiring.

"Ah, Commander."

"Javik. Enjoying your time here?"

"I wanted proof that you share power with the other species. I confess I did not believe it possible."

Desiree snorted at the remark, earning her a curious yet hard look from Javik. "It's funny, the protheans remind me very much of ancient egyptians or romans."

"Explain."

"The egyptians were a great culture in Northern Africa many centuries ago. They had a large kingdom, the rulers were considered Gods in living flesh. When they conqured the opposing tribes or city states the survivors became slaves or simply – egyptians. The Romans operated in much the same way – in fact they spanned most of western Europe and even down into North Africa as well. Slaves could rise above their station however, could be come citizens if they played their cards right and survived long enough."

Javik was quiet after the truncated cultural lesson, staring at Shepard with something akin to wonder etched on his face. It was as if he didn't quite believe her.

"As far as I know, Shepard, no prothen ever attempted to uplift you humans. The thought you evolved and somehow adapted our political policies in your fractured cultures and tribes is...fascinating."

"Are you sure you weren't a scientist?" The dark haired woman teased, leaning against the window frame and hiding a smile when Javik became visibly agitated.

"I fire a gun far to well to be a scientist, **txiki sugarra.**"

There it was again, small flame or little fire. He was calling her that more and more lately in her dreams and out of them. It made her shiver, wonder how exactly switching from a common tongue to prothean could make him sound so much more...attractive. Not that his regular voice didn't make her want to climb him like a freakin' tree – this was just, so much _more._

"**Dute jotzen duzu zer esan dut?Txoria txikia utzi al duzu?" **_Have you considered what I said? Have you left the little bird?_ He was a breath away from her, moving when the Commander had been lost in though. The male's voice was a rumbled purr and woke up all sorts of places on her body.

"**Zion maite izango litzateke ..."** She muttered, looking out the window over the presidium with a scowl tugging at her face.

"**Maite erreakzio kimiko bat da, da beharra off plazan, zure berdintasunaren eta merezi frogatzeko horien aurka baino irabazi dizute dakit gorrotoa duzu."** _Love is a chemical reaction, Desiree. It is not stronger than the need to square off against your equal and have them prove they are worthy. I know you let him win - you hate it._ He brushed a three fingered hand down her side while he spoke, eyes taking delight in the shiver she tried to suppress. The Commander caught his look and scowled, her hand making to slap his away.

"_Des! Have you **seen** Joshua? He's out in the fields – shirtless!" Liera squealed, tugging at her friend's hand._

"_Liera, you know I've got no interest in him! I've got to study, the first round of aptitude tests are coming up!" Desiree moaned, tugging her hand from her exuberant compatriots._

"_You've been studying for months! The alliance is going to fall all over themselves to take the great Desiree Shepard into their ranks. Come **ooon**, live a little, for me?"_

_The brunette groaned, caving in as the blonde persisted in her pleading. Nodding her ascent, the girls ran off, laughter and random conversation flowing easily between them. The sun was out, it was warm, spring time on Mindoir – the best season on the small colony. _

_The teens were half way to the fields when the sirens went off. Liera looked at Desiree, Des took in the sheer terror on Li' face before dragging her into the woods some hundred meters away. It skirted the colony – they could get back to the bunkers, their families, safety._

Javik ripped his hand away from Shepard as if he had been burned. His golden eyes were wild, hunted and strangely sympathetic as he took in the woman before him with new respect. For her part Shepard was dazed, a film of tears wetting her eyes as she turned, resolutely staring out over the presidum for a long, pregnant silence.

"**Nik ez dut esan nahi hori ikusteko.****"** _I didn't mean to see that._

"**Duela denbora luze bat izan lurperatuta daude."**_ It was a long time ago, the dead are buried. _Her voice was thick, betraying the lingering sorrow that the air around them still tasted of.

"**Ba al dute isuritako odola ordaindu dute?"** _Did they pay for the blood they spilled?_

Shepard nodded, her eyes darting over to look at her prothean friend. He looked shocked, a little bit angry for what had befallen her colony some sixteen years ago. Desiree made no move to say anything however, there wasn't anything to say at the moment.

"The ones you call Collectors," Javik spoke softly, anger coloring his voice and startling the Commander from her thoughts, "They did something similar to my homeworld. A few sleeper agents had been placed with the populace, no modifications that were clear to the naked eye. They were simply giving data to their _masters_."

"Javik..."

"They came when I had lived four summers. The Reapers,with their Collectors – in force. The aim was to wipe out the whole planet, the whole military structure of my people. Only the most ruthless and rogue families did not meet their end that day. I saw, I remember. The Reapers will pay – just as your slavers will help each other bring justice to this cycle..."

"Lets... I'll show you the presidum markets." Desiree whispered, grasping the alien's hand and tugging him to the elevator. She was both unhappy and satisified with the thing that had happened moments before. It showed her Javik had compassion.


	9. Chapter 9

The Changes In You Bring You Closer to Me 9/?

Disclaimer: I don't own it (and I hear tell there's some DLC in the works!).

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The Presidum was beautiful, the architecture much different than what Javik had imagined, but beautiful none the less. It had a calming effect on the Commander, he'd noticed, the tension had slowly bled from her shoulders and face with each Kiosk they browsed. The outing was quiet, a bit awkward but ultimately companionable, a change from the cat and mouse game the pair had been playing for the last couple of weeks.

She was still in heat, however, and he wanted her even more badly now because of it. The brunette with her slender build, earthen skin and pitch colored hair was exotic in his eyes. Her strength and resolve to find the light left in the universe was appealing in a way that Javik couldn't and wouldn't put it into words.

" How is the tea?" Her voice was even softer now that she wasn't on the Normandy, not in front of her soldiers.

"It's good, bitter. What did you say it was?"

"Barley." Shepard's lips curve as the word leaves her mouth, a fond memory simmering on the surface of her face.

"Isn't that a grain?"

"Yes, I found out it could be used as tea when I visited Korea after I graduated the academy. I'd never seen earth, but my Father spoke of his home country often. He met my mother when she was stationed at a museum base. She was from Cairo."

The revelation made Javik peer at the woman closely; curly black hair, almond eyes in a deep blue, thick lashes, high European cheek bones, tanned skin instead of golden...

"I favor my mother, I've got dad's nose and eyes though." He felt a foreign heat rise on his neck when she laughed and mentioned her likeness to her parents.

"Ah. I favor my father, my mother gave me her coloring though." It was awkward to say the words, to dredge up information that should be long dead. It made his blood roil, and he shifted his gaze out over the artificial lake.

"You're a conundrum, Commander Javik." The words were barely a whisper but made him twitch toward his companion none the less.

"I don't follow."

"Zure lagun, nire jendea oraindik ez zaude, oraindik hotza duzu baina ez duzu argitu bat." _Your people, are my people yet not. You are kind, yet you are cold. You want me but you don't - an enigma._ The Commander – Desiree's eyes searched his face as she spoke, her scrutiny unsettled him.

"Ez da, ez duzu nahi materia. Oso nahi duzun I - prothean, zaude, giza eta, beraz, askoz gehiago dira. Salbazioa, Shepard izan dezakezu." _It is not a matter of not wanting you. I want you very much - you are prothean, you are human and so much more. You could be salvation, Shepard_.

"Hildako pertsona Salvation.I am soldadu bat duten atzera gidatuko litzateke zer ezin duzu sabelean?" _Salvation for a dead people. I am a womb to you - a soldier who would drive back what you could not? _

The ice that clung to the words struck out at Javik, and he drew a breath. A pregnant pause grew between them and just as he had sifted through his thought, the female sneered and stood, knocking her chair back from the table. A moment of panic seized Javik, and he grabbed her wrist, slamming the walls of his mind down to keep a transfer from happening, as it was, emotion flowed freely between the pair.

Heat, desperation, sorrow, anger. _I am not chattel._

Remorse, understanding, hope, confusion. _You are more than a womb, more than a soldier._

Unease-fear. _We will not survive this..._

Reassurance – compassion. _ We will try – together._

Javik knew that he would never figure out what changed, what prompted the action, but in the seconds it took for them to nonverbally communicate, Shepard had attached her lips to his. It was hot, a clash of tongues and teeth that would leave them both bruised; and then, she punched him and ran.

* * *

><p>I should have uploaded this ages ago but got flooded with orders on my etsy. Cakes and candy have consumed my life for the last two weeks! I am working on chapter 10 but it's birthday season and in the next three weeks I've got two cakes and three dozen cupcakes to do. So things are going to slow down for a while but I -am- going to finish this!<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

Leaving for AO3

I just wanted to put up a quick note altering you all to my move from here to Archive of Our Own. These stories will stay up but no longer be updated here.

Same penname, same chick, same stories. :D

archiveofourown users / MrsShadow

Also if AO3 is giving you grief about reading the stories without an account I'm going to do a giant post dump of stories into my livejournal over the next couple days (I've got work so it will be a couple days, people!)

washedawaycloud . livejournal . com

Things will be tagged accordingly.

I love you all and am sorry to be going but it's for my stories safety - especially the older ones. seems to be cracking down - one of my older ones (thankfully in the live journal already) was taken down after two years for inappropriate content.


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